The Downside of Lyme

For those of you who follow and read my blog for the positive inspiration–motivation to keep fighting–this post isn’t one of them. So if you are on a roll, doing well, and in good spirits- I suggest you don’t read this post, for I am extremely affected by my environment-and only want the best for all those who suffer from a chronic illness- you don’t need to read about other peoples bad days, because unfortunately, you know all too well what those are like, and don’t need to be reminded. I know deep down that these negative feelings will pass but I’ve found writing to be an outlet for me- I’m sticking to my promise when I said I’d share my story and what it’s like to live with Lyme; all the ups..

and all the downs…

When you don’t look sick, it’s a “catch 22”

When people tell me I look good or pretty, I feel good about myself.

When people say to me, “you look so tired…you look like hell…you look like you just got run over by a train,” I’m not going to feel so good about myself.

(I’m human)

The days I’m out of the house- I’m running around like crazy because I only have a few good hours in a day (if that) and it’s a race against time- i’m racing against myself, to get as much done as possible, before my final crash and i’m burnt out for the day. Chances are, if I look like a “train wreck” I won’t be leaving my house.. or my bed. It’s exhausting to make a few phone calls some days, as sad as that is- today I have to go to the chiropractor because I am in so much pain, otherwise I would not be leaving my house–that is if I even do go (the chiropractor I see, is literally 3 or 4 minutes from my house- yeah, like I said, sad that I don’t have the energy or willpower to make it that far)

In the past 10 minutes as I’ve been writing…I don’t even really care to write anymore. I’m tired. What’s the point. This isn’t going to get me better. This isn’t going to get anyone any closer to winning their fight against Lyme. Lyme…you win (just for today).

Sharing what it is like to live with Lyme disease & other chronic illnesses to spread awareness; health advocate;

8 Comments

  1. Hugs. I’m feeling crap as well today. Blogging can’t always be inspiring or just about the good days. Illness is such a mixture of experiences, most of them tough. Sitting with you.

  2. Thank you for the support, this truly is what helps me get through the days- knowing i’m not alone! I’m glad you appreciate me being truthful because it is extremely tough no matter what illness you have, and I’ve found writing to be helpful to me; I know blogging isn’t about being positive, but I do like to post a lot of inspirational things because it does help me and I think it does help others. Feel better yourself and get some rest- and to my fellow Lymies and Spoonies, feel better and know that the rough days do pass!

  3. I think sometimes giving up, just for a short while is really helpful. Rest. Come back to the fight tomorrow. 🙂

  4. I LOVE YOU Stacie. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo

  5. Hi Stacie, hang in there. Rest really does matter. Why not give yourself a home pamper day, or better still a pyjama day. Keep warm and rested on the bad days, and dosed up with painkillers every 6-8 hours, day and night for a few days. We lymies all have to learn to say ‘no’ to ourselves and to others more often than yes in order to have a better quality of life, but you can give yourself treats. YOU matter and those that matter to you and care about you know that and will support you. x

    • Dizz- so sorry it took me so long to respond to you! Thank you for the support and kind words, especially on a day that I really needed it. Sometimes Lyme can get the best of you, but I know that you know that! Saying ‘no’ is really hard for me to do, whether it’s to someone or saying no to myself. I really do forget to relax and do things for me because I feel like it’s precious time I’m wasting- every minute I feel the need to work on my fundraising and what not because I just want my life back. But you are absolutely right and those who do care will support me no matter what. Thank you again, for I’ve read your comment many times over the past few weeks and gives me hope everything will get better 🙂 Stay healthy- Stac

  6. I totally agree writing is a great outlet for the bad stuff. Hope you can sit tight and ride out the bad. The good (however brief) will come back….or at least that’s what I tell myself anyway!

  7. Thanks for being real and honest. I have those days too…and it’s really good to write about it. <3 Hoping your day is a little better today…

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