Scars

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” – Rose Kennedy

Scars from 2 PICC lines and a midline

Scars from 2 PICC lines & midline

I’ll forever have these three scars on my arms

PICC Line vs. Midline

PICC Line vs. Midline

Two are from PICC lines (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) and the other, a midline.

Someone recently asked me what was on my arm, pointing to one of the scars. I casually responded, but today, I sat and reflected on not just the scars, but how they got there.

It is sad that sometimes I feel the need to justify being sick to others; hearing, “But You Don’t Look Sick…” is never something I like to hear, but at the same time, it’s nice to know I don’t look as horrible as I feel.

All that’s changed over the past 2 years, is that I no longer have an IV in my arm. When I had it, I “looked sick,” and didn’t need to explain to people that I didn’t feel well. Now that I don’t have it, I struggle with “the need” to prove to others I am sick; I don’t need to justify that I suffer from debilitating fatigue caused by Idiopathic Hypersomnia, a rare sleep disorder, as well as others like, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Excessive Daytime Sleepiness & narcolepsy (without cataplexy).

β€œIn a perverse way, I was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. What was the point in just being hurt on the inside? It should bloody well show.” ― Janet Fitch, White Oleander

Every day I continue to learn how to battle my invisible illnesses and let go of the fact that, people will believe what they want to believe; I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

When someone asks about my scars, I tell them I received antibiotics but then continue ask if they are aware of ticks and tick-borne diseases.

What I don’t say, is that the scars on my arms remind me, that I am brave, relentless and that I am a much stronger person than I was a few years ago; I’m stronger than I was yesterday.

They never have to know that, but I do.

Sharing what it is like to live with Lyme disease & other chronic illnesses to spread awareness; health advocate;

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